Candles, bubble bath, face/hair mask & kinder bueno 😍 its been a long day.
This little lady enjoyed our adventures in bristol, next stop london to see uncle @dalatando1987
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him he’d make me laugh just to comfort me, then finally make me do just what my mama said. Later that night when I was asleep He left a dollar under my sheet never dreamed that he would be gone from me, If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him, I’d play a song that would never, ever end cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again.
Im back to work today and my stomach is in bits 😞 i dont know how im going to get through the day, roll on 10pm so i can come home and sleep.
Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life, it’s strange how dates that once meant nothing or were of no importance will forever be remembered for the rest of your days, a day of remembrance and sadness. I will forever be greatful for the times and good memories I had & I will always make sure that those memories stay with me.
#tbt too my little lady just a few hours old, in the last 2 years she has brought me more happiness than I’ve had in a lifetime and at 2 years old, although she may not know it she’s my little hero, no matter how bad I feel she lights up my life, she is the love of my life 💕
I’m dreading the week ahead, keeping busy in the day makes things easier but come the night I don’t know what to do with myself, I’m sat thinking, trying to keep my mind occupied but I just want to talk to someone, I just want nick home from work so I can just cuddle & talk to someone who understands me. I hate being alone even more now than ever.
Since Ava was born I’ve had the most positive outlook in life, no matter how down i felt or how bad things seemed, i always tried looking on the bright side,but I’m finding it extremely hard to do that right now. I just want to give up, i don’t want to pretend I’m doing okay, i don’t want to carry on like nothings changed because it has and it will never be the same, i know i cant give up and i know that wouldn’t make any of this any better, but i cant forget. Its an image that will haunt me forever and something i don’t know I’ll ever be at peace with. I’ve got a life to live and that doesn’t consist sitting there dwelling, crying, sleeping and replaying it all but for now that’s how i feel, i just dont know how this will get easier to live with.
today my life has changed forever and i don’t know what to do with myself, its been the hardest couple of months and now its all come to an end, I’ve never felt so lost and useless, no one can make it better and no one can change it, i don’t want to be around people but i don’t want to be alone, i don’t want to think about it but i cant forget, its times like this when you realise who really cares and who really doesn’t, i hate feeling this way.